All I have to bring
hello beautiful soul,
This latest page from my art journal has taken me through quite a creative and emotional journey, helping me process the current crazy times, and reminding me that there's only so much we can bring into the world: our gifts, whatever they may be, however big or small. And our heart.
I’m sharing the whole process below, but first, let me share these words by Emily Dickinson:
“It’s all I have to bring today —
This, and my heart beside —
This, and my heart, and all the fields —
And all the meadows wide —”
They’re my favorite quote from her, probably because they feel so vulnerable and true. She wrote them as a humble introduction to her poems, her creative gifts: all she had to bring.
dream create inspire
So what if we all did that: share our gifts, share our hearts, a little bit every day, no matter what, knowing that even if it doesn't seem nearly like enough, it actually is? What if every little spark of creativity, every tiny bloom of color, could make a difference against the darkness that is once again weighing on the world?
From the very early days of my first blogging attempts, way before I started teaching, before I had any social media accounts, the mantra of my work has been “Dream Create Inspire”. These three little words have been sitting at the top of my website for years, like a guardian angel and a guiding star:
They remind my to keep dreaming, keep honoring the dreamer in my soul, that magical little fairy, because it’s a hugely important part of who I am. It’s my gift.
Then whatever happens, take that dream and start creating something from it. Give it form. Shape it, paint it and write it. It never has to be perfect, but just make it real.
And it doesn't stop here, because what matters then, is to share it, to inspire others. Yes, it feels vulnerable, every single time, through every blog and Instagram post, every art show, every lesson shared on camera… But that’s part of the deal: as artists and creatives, that’s the work we’re here to do.
Dream. Create. Inspire. Then do it all over again.
Whenever I feel a bit lost or in doubt, it feels really good to have this simple, crystal-clear compass to turn to. It instantly puts me back on track, back in alignment with my truth and my purpose. And that's pretty great.
What about you? Do you have a "mantra", a quote or other words that fit you like a glove? Tell me in a comment below!
the process: from heart to art
So… I did dream this page, and I did create it, often both at the same time. And now, how about sharing a little bit of the process, so that maybe YOU will feel inspired to create something too?
Here are the steps that the page, and my heart, went through. Around the end, the journal and I wrestled quite a bit and I was so deeply in the process, furiously tearing off layers, that I completely forgot to take pictures. Oh well… if you’ve ever felt stuck, you know what I mean. So here it is:
It all started with a painterly background that I shared a few weeks ago HERE. I almost never start with a blank page because I much prefer to give myself some starting points that will kickstart my creativity (more on that topic HERE)
Another big part of my practice is to make a little bundle of collage materials before I start. I just pull out anything that feels good together, very quickly and intuitively.
Then I glue it all down, again very intuitively, and at this stage I can feel the story starting to emerge. There are two main elements here: the “flower girl” and the window. I feel like maybe she’s moving towards it, longing to look outside, towards the light. The Emily Dickinson quote is not on the page yet at this stage, but it’s playing in my head. In my heart.
After collage, it’s time to start adding some gesso and paint, blurring the edges, bringing things together a bit. Letting go, getting messy, putting on some music and to be very honest, having a good cry too.
The words from the poem get stronger in my head, so now is the time to write them down. They come out dark and messy, and that’s OK. The sweet and rosy page becomes a lot more raw and contrasted.
More paint, crayons, layers of color.
The figure, with her bare back and shoulder blades, feels vulnerable. It echoes with my own health issues so I can feel that there’s some healing for me in the story that’s unfolding. I remember this practice from a wonderful book: close your eyes, move your shoulder blades… can you feel your wings?…
So of course, now I have to look through my box of wings (yes I have a box of wings!). I take the time to find her the perfect pair, and just like that, she becomes a fairy. And reminds me that I am one too. I suddenly feel a lot more confident, empowered, relieved. Ready to keep going.
Next I feel that something’s missing in her hand, and find a vintage image of a laurel branch. It feels like an offering of peace, but I also remember that the laurel is a symbol of victory. Maybe the victory of light over dark, of hope, joy, and a bit of magic? This too feels empowering. We fairies are stronger than we seem!
And then… I get stuck! Ha! I wondered when that would happen. I feel like the page is almost complete but something is missing under the window. A word or a phrase probably. I look in my stash of cut-out words, I look within, try different things… but it never feels right. It’s like the journal is telling me that I’m pushing in the wrong direction. I feel frustrated, but hey, it’s not my first time! So I slow down, take the time to breathe and listen. At some point I stamp the word “Hope”. I also collage several little phrases or words here and there: “pushing the shadows back”, “hope came to people”, “be alright”, “believe”…
The page feels crowded now, it’s too full, too loud. The fairy is no longer moving to the window to look for the light outside. It feels like she’s suffocating and longing to escape… so I draw her a ladder! And from then on, I forget to take pictures, sorry…
Then comes the time to really let go of my need to “finish” the page. Time to embrace and trust the process anew. And that means ruthlessly getting rid of what’s not working, tearing off or covering up most of the words, apart from the poem.
The poem… It speaks of wide open spaces, and that’s exactly what I need right now. So I take a deep breath and remove the window, scratching and peeling the paper off. Then I take another deep breath, and that one feels much better, deep and liberating.
I draw a simple, hilly horizon under the poem and all of a sudden “it works”. Both the story and the composition, like it was always meant to be. It was all in the poem really…
The ladder is still standing, but it no longer feels like an emergency escape. Instead, it now leads towards a starry sky, a peaceful, quiet night that gently settles in, a promise of sweet dreams, of magic, and of a new tomorrow.
trust the magic
So there you go, that’s how this page came to be! There were some wonderful, comforting moments of creative magic, and some very awkward, discomforting moments of “stuckness”, over a couple of days. Just like in life, right? But when you let go and keep trusting the process (and when you’re a little stubborn too), then the magic always wins. One way or another, it always comes together, one journal page at a time.
One page: it’s all I have to bring today.
If lately you’ve been feeling stuck, helpless or even useless, first, know that it’s completely normal. And if you’re not feeling like creating anything, then take a little break. But not too long OK? Because we need your art, whatever form it takes. Your soul needs it, for sure, but it goes way beyond that. We don’t make art just for ourselves. Every time you create, you bring magic, pure, positive energy out into the world. And it matters.
You will find more on that topic and words of encouragement in last week’s blog post HERE. And also in this awesome and fun Martha Beck video that a blog reader shared with me (the last bit about art is especially enlightening). Also, another reader reminded me of this other blog post that I wrote in the early days of covid, and told me it gave her comfort to read it now, so you might enjoy it too.
flower power
Flowers are also part of the story of my page, with its flower-crowned fairy holding an offering of simple blooms. Flowers are gifts, little miracles of beauty and love. And one thing leading to another, still following the trail of Emily Dickinson, I came across this article which says a very beautiful thing:
“... in the Cretaceous period, flowers appeared and carpeted the world with astonishing rapidity — because, in some poetic sense, they invented love.”
When it comes to nurturing my heart and reconnecting to joy, flowers work like magic. For instance this morning, it would have been very hard not to smile when William came back from the market with a huge bunch of mimosa, like pure sunshine! And just now, as I’m writing, I can watch through my window the first buds of magnolia slowly opening up, daffodils swaying in the wind, violets and daisies sprinkling the grass...
In these dark times, I'm discovering new layers of meaning and purpose to painting flowers. Because whenever I do, I can truly feel myself blooming from the inside out. It's like gardening for the soul... And then, in a very tangible way, I can see all this love and joy reflected back to me from the canvas, ready to awaken love and joy into other hearts.
If your Artist Soul is longing for a good dose of creativity, joy and positivity, then I would LOVE for you to come paint with me in my online class Flower Flow!
And I hope that by sharing my art and thoughts today, maybe I can inspire you to keep dreaming, create something, and in turn, inspire those around you.
We’re in this together as artists, so let’s keep creating!
Flowers are such a joy to paint, and the perfect subject to experiment with plenty of fun techniques. From roses and wildflowers to vintage botanicals and imaginary blooms, this uplifting class will make your art grow and bloom!