Times like these
Times like these
Oh dear, I think it's the first time I sit here in front of my computer to write a blog post, with none or very little idea about what I'm going actually to write about... But I still feel the need to write, and Truth is more than ever my word of the year, so beware, honest post ahead... At first I just thought I'd write about the progress of my "Nest" studio project, because it's true that I've been spending a lot of time working on it lately, planning, painting walls an battling with floors... But before I share a tiny bit about that, I feel there's something else I need to talk about.
planning
The first thing that I really need to say (and I'm voicing this out loud as I write, because it might do me good to actually hear it) is this:
Stop resisting!
Because friends, these past weeks (months?) have been all about that: resistance. And its ugly evil sister: procrastination. If some of you followed the Right Brainers in Business Video Summit, you might remember that "procrastinating is a way to punish yourself" (can't remember who said it but it's been an eye-opener).
I told you last May about this symbolic "one year as an ARTIST" landmark. Which came with building a more "professional" website etc. Well, I think it's safe to say that it made me freak out a bit... The "who do you think you are?" and "you're kidding yourself, girl" gremlins have been super busy creeping in again, and the nasty beasts are way better trained than my newborn "I'm an artist and I'm living my dream" self! So they just lulled me into thinking I had won the fight, while really they were just plotting to stab me in the back at the first opportunity! And they've been having soooo much fun with it lately. They're even doing it this very second, and writing this actually feels like fighting. Plus they've got a new recruit, it's called "you're first works were your best and now you're just messing things up, you're done". I hate that one but can't seem to find the proper way to get rid of it, and at this stage I'm pretty much believing it, and have almost completely stopped painting, and social networking, and investigating places to exhibit my work. For now, I'm telling myself it's just one of those times and it's better to take a break than to keep the frustration rising. I guess I shouldn't have read The Art of Fielding, because sometimes it feels like I'm living it, but still, it was a great book...
The past weeks have been especially challenging in our family life too, with the workers in the house, the mess, the dust, overtired and therefore overchallenging kids. Plus end-of-the-year shows for my daughter and husband, which means super exciting/stressful times that bring a lot of joy but are followed by the day-after bittersweet feelings of things that end...
Then add the fact that I was doing my first ever freelance graphic design job for the community center where I used to work before, and that once it was almost finished, we had to put everything on hold because they found out that their accountant had been steadily embezzling money! Now they're not even sure they won't shut the place down altogeher. It makes me sad and angry because I care for the place and the people who work there, it's where my husband has his dance classes, where my son spends some of his holiday time, where I taught my first art workshops and did my first art show. It is so unsettling to think that this person has been a daily colleague, working in the office next to mine for 2 whole years...
At times like these, it's especially important to make room for some simple family time where we can celebrate every precious moment, have fun or just hang out and "do nothing"...
Anyway, I just can't wait to move into my "Nest" studio, I can feel how much I need the energy, the peace and inspiration of this room. There are so many projects I have put on hold, like trying my hand at making some jewelry. I've got all the supplies but just can't seem able to get started. I need this fresh start! I'm also looking forward to sharing creative "us" time with William as we're moving his piano into the Nest as well! There's going to be my "artsy mess" on one side of the room with my working table, sink etc. And a cozy space on the other side to blog, read and even eat and watch a movie if we feel like it, and the piano. I also can't wait to set up the place with all the vintage furniture I have "saved". The stairs will be delivered next Thursday, so patience...
Well I think that's it for today, thank you if you've staid with me to this point! Tomorrow we're going to my parents' where we'll celebrate our daughter and her cousin's 4th birthdays, and then 2 of my sisters, me and maybe my mom will accompany my 3rd sister in her search for a wedding dress! Good times ahead...